Where the Spirit Is

Today I had a breakthrough.

I've always struggled with how to keep my daily schedule and to do list.  I remember this struggle beginning as far back as middle school, at least.  I'm always trying to figure out how to best run my day and stay on top of things, all while pleasing everyone and not dropping any of the balls that I'm juggling.

It runs me ragged.  The past year or two have been especially frustrating.

God uses books a lot to speak to me and lead me in change.  One He put in my hands recently is First Things First by Stephen R. Covey.  What I've learned so far while reading this book is that I focus so much on the relatively unimportant, seemingly urgent tasks.  I now see that I've done this for years, both in my personal and professional life.

So I'm learning to focus more on the things that are actually important, like spending time with my husband Erich and getting to know him better, making time to write on this blog, and taking the time to invest in my essential oil business.

I'm still really frustrated, though.  And the past two weeks or so I've been really in a bad place mentally because of my frustration with keeping everything going.

During all of this, the Lord has helped me to see how I am overly responsible.  Sounds funny, right?  Shouldn't we all strive to be responsible?  I guess what God means is I major on the minor and focus on the relatively unimportant tasks; how so much of my time is spent on things like making sure I respond to an email or make sure all the bathrooms have toilet paper.

This word "responsibility" has been stuck in my head.  Words are another way the Lord speaks to me (words and books).  Just like He puts books in my hands when He wants me to learn something, He also puts words in my head.  "Responsibility" is the latest word He's impressed on me.

This morning I was remembering how a few months ago the Lord put 2 Corinthians 3:17 in my head.  It says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."  That's another way the Lord speaks to me: by putting verses in my head.  When this verse came to me, I remember specifically sensing that He was speaking to me about how I keep my schedule.  This morning I was wondering what this verse, and the surrounding verses, had to do with my schedule.

The Lord quickly reminded me of the word "responsibility."  He helped me to see that I've made being responsible into a law for myself.  He showed me that He is Spirit, and where the Spirit is, there is freedom.  I focus such much on my law of being responsible and making sure to keep everything going that I miss His Spirit and the freedom that comes along with the Spirit.  The freedom to not respond to an email and to still be loved.  The freedom to change my schedule around to fit in more important things.  The freedom to disappoint people by not fulling all of their demands.

I'm not saying that I have given up my responsibilities or that being responsible is bad.  However, what I have been doing for so long is focusing on doing everything, doing it right, and not letting any of the balls I'm juggling drop.  I've focused on self effort instead of on grace.  I've focused on what I think needs to be done instead of what the Spirit is doing.

So today, I've thrown caution to the wind and haven't gone by a specific schedule.  I took a chance and decided to not try to be responsible.  I haven't determined to do anything at any set time today.  And you know what?  I've been productive and have connected with the Lord and have gotten some work done with my business and have been responsible in a much better way -- in the flow of the Spirit.

(After I wrote this I read my post from January 2. Take a look at it.  Seems God's been trying to get this message through to me for a while now.  I'm sure He's been trying since way before January.)

Frustrations With Housekeeping

I get really frustrated with how I keep our house.  I clean and straighten, but there's always cleaning and straightening that doesn't get done.  This leads to a lot of frustration -- frustration because I'm afraid that we'll have guests over and they'll judge me for not keeping our home cleaner and frustration that I don't have the house clean enough and pretty enough to suit myself.

Yesterday I felt that maybe the Lord was pointing me toward Matthew 6:33 as a verse to explore to help me get to the root of what's causing my angst.  This verse says, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  The surrounding verses tell us not to worry about the physical needs of this world, not to focus on the treasures in this world, but to focus on what God focuses on (His kingdom business) and to focus on living in a manner that pleases Him.  Thus I was thinking that maybe the Lord was telling me that the root of my frustration was that my focus has been wrong -- on cleaning my house instead of on His kingdom and living to please Him.  Then I think I began thinking too hard or something.  I was talking through my thoughts and feelings with God and began thinking that my frustrations were caused by my not trying hard enough - not being diligent enough to accomplish what I want to accomplish around the house.  It made a lot of sense to me and I could see how I could definitely make better use of my time and accomplish more. 

Thinking I had figured out what my problem was, I began journaling about it.  I titled my entry "Actually Doing," and began writing about my "revelation" that my frustration is a result of my not doing enough each day.  My thoughts on what the root of my problem was had moved away from Matthew 6:33 -- seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness.  In the middle of writing, I felt the urge to read the verse at the bottom of the page in my journal to see if it might pertain to what I was journaling about.  (The journal I'm using has verses printed at the bottom of each page.)  I stared in stunned silence at the words of Matthew 6:33, printed right there before my eyes.  Obviously God was saying, "Wait, you missed what I was trying to tell you."  As I went back and reconsidered what relevance this verse might have to my frustrations, I came to this conclusion:

Yes, I do need to be diligent in accomplishing my tasks each day, 

but I must have the right focus, making sure I've selected 

the right tasks for my to-do list for the day.  

Cleaning windows has its time and place, 

but people and God's kingdom are more important.  

I also see this lesson: To know God's will and His voice,

we must read His Word and be aware of the verses

that He puts on our hearts, in our minds, and

at the bottom of journal pages (or wherever He 

may choose for you to come across it).

I must also note that Matthew 6:33 turned up the other day in a book I'm reading and in a friend's Facebook post.  God's willing to speak to us, but we must be willing to listen and respond.

Will You Choose to Be Grudgy or Grateful?

I gleaned this bit of wisdom from Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts, an excellent book on thanksgiving.  In the Afterword, Ann says that each moment is a battle to choose between grudginess and gratefulness. 

Today as I ironed my husband's pants -- not something I do often -- I realized my negative attitude about the task (not toward my husband).  I opened my thankfulness eyes and thought about the privilege I have to iron his pants: God chose to have him here on this earth today for me (though not just for me), and I get the privilege of living today with him. 

As I look around me at the clothes to fold, the dishes to wash, and the other tasks to accomplish in order to keep our household running, my goal is to continue to not take any of it for granted.  God has told me in Matthew 6 that, as I seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, He is providing for my every need.  I realize that the pants I ironed today are an extra blessing, more than I need, not granted.  The many dishes I wash each week are extra, not granted; we only truly need two bowls, two glasses, two forks, and a one pan to cook in. 

As I live each day, may I let the peace of Christ (not discontent) rule in my heart, to which I was called along with all followers of Christ, and may I be thankful  (Colossians 3:15).

Had Fun Photographing the Payseur Family Today!

Let Your Light Shine

At the candlelight service tonight, before everyone's candles were lit, the sanctuary was dark.  But when all of our candles were lit, what a light there was!  The thought came to me that if all believers in Jesus Christ would let their light shine how much brighter the world would be.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:16

Need Calm?  Right now?

If your brain is as scattered as mine, your thoughts flitting from one task to another, I highly recommend this blog post from LivingTheBalancedLife.com.

http://livingthebalancedlife.com/2012/the-calming-power-of-being-present/

Grow Yourself, Grow Your Business

Investing in yourself, in personal growth, will lead you to the next open door in your life.  

I regularly listen to podcasts from Dave Ramsey's podcast series entitled EntreLeadership.  I highly recommend the following: Personal Growth with John Maxwell, Time Management with Peter Bregman, and Fear & Opposition.